i work, as i have said, in a mall. to be exact, i work at ben and jerrys. so i expected the biggest mall in new england to be pretty slow today seeing i think everyone was basically trying to avoid giant buildings.... well, i couldnt cuz i had to scoop ice cream for the brave souls that wandered into the unknown....

but they were all crazy it seemed....

first, a man came up and ordered a coffee float... no one seems toknow what this is so i explained it is hot coffee with a scoop of ice cream in it... he was like... nope, not what i want. so i said, did you just mean like... a coffee shake? and he said, what a shake... so i says coffee ice cream and milk blended into a drink... and he said nope, and i said, did you want a root beer float? and he said no. i want a soda float. and i said, a root beer float, and he said no, with soda and i said, soda with a scoop of ice cream in it, and he said yeah, and i said ok (pointing to the soda foutain) what kind of soda... and he said, what do you reccomend... i said....root beer... he said no i want coke, so i get it, what kind of ice cream whould you like? i dunno, what goes good, and i said, vanilla, so he goes, ok, no ok, nah... coffee, does that go? and i said, sounds good. so i get it. i ask him if he needs anything else today.... no he says, im trying to keep it light... its the 11th you know. and i was like, uh-huh. and he said, do you know what happened last year? (he said it in all seriousness) and so i say ... ummmmmmm i seem to remember something...i cant.. think, i dunno, maybe and he looks at me, all serious and goes to explain what happened... and i laughed so loud and i was like, of course i know! everyone knows! and he was suprised that i was joking. then he goes, i lost a friend in it. and i (being the fecicious bitch i am) i say... a lot of people did... and he looks at me like he was the only one. and i said, im sorry to hear that... i really am... have a nice day.... that was freak #1...

so freak #2....

comes up with a giant cingular bag and a huge filenes bag. he goes to the front of the line and puts his bags on the counter. right in front of my tip cup... he has a net thing on his arm holding a bunch of gauze to the top of his arm... he proceeds to take a bunch of napkins and wad them up, sticking them into the net holding the gauze on... HES DRESSING HIS WOUNDS AT MY ICE CREAM COUNTER WITH A WOMAN STANDING NEXT TO HIM!!!!!!!!!! i asked him if i could help him and he was like, in a minute, yeah (rude valley girl like) so i stand and watch him...) my boss comes over and nonchalantly wipes down the counter and takes the tip cup away from him... he mumbles under his breath .. they think i want to steal from them, they think i want to take their money... and then dresses the wound some more and then literally pretends to be holding a baby and dances away from my counter miming that he is crying... that was freak #2

then #3, im not so sure how to take. i dunno (because of experiances earlier... read the above to recap if you must...) so i didnt want to belive anyone... this guy comes up. i wear very extravagant make-up and he was a nice looking, clean cut older guy (50's) and he was like, lemme see your eyes, so i shut then to give the full on look and he was like very nice, i like them... did you just do that for today? and i was like, no, ive been doing it for years, i cant leave the house without it... and he goes, do you have any nick names cuz of it? and i said yeah, a few people call me cat woman... he got a kick out of that... and he looks at my right ear and he goes, you have 3 piercings in your ear... and you have empty ones too... and i said uh-huh... i asked him if he knew what he wanted and he just stared at me for a minute... then he ordered a med cup of cherry garcia... i put it on the counter and tell him its 3.50. he was diging in a halmark bag... my boss comes over, he goes to stick an americn flag sticker on my boob so i took it before he got to close... he said, your the first person i am going to give a sticker to today. and he gave my boss one. he said he was an airline pilot fron san diego and that he was here for a bit but then he was flying to florida then to philly. then he told me and my boss that he was passing out the stickers to the passengers so they could say the pledge of alligence. then he made me and my boss recite it before he would leave... maybe just a nice pilot or.... freak #3