it seems the more he knows i like him, the less i see him, but he had liked me and we never did anything about it... and now that were trying to see what will happen... it feels like he is avoiding me.

dont get me wrong... i have no problem with comming to the realization when someone is just not that into me.

but unlike that at all i know he is. he was really sick last week and i didnt want him to come out... he did manage to one night but he really shouldnt have. he had the flu and i wanted nothing more then for him to stay home and get better.

hes been feeling himself again and going to work and i would imagine back to his routine. but... i talked to him last night after he convinced me that he wasnt going to come out with w, j and myself because "i need to be a good boy" "i shouldnt be drinking"

i called him between work at the club and going to lilis. i said that i was sad he wasnt going to come out but that i understood and i let it go at that. i suggested that soon we get together and do dinner and a movie. he said "yeah definitly, well do that tomorrow."

i told him not to make promises and instead we would leave it at there being a possibility of us getting together but he shouldnt make promises.

"no. thats what were doing. definitly... were going to go out tomorrow and have a good time."

well... i had an email waiting when i got online today asking what movie i wanted to see. i replied i had no preference and that i would check out what was playing.

he sent me something back that said "i think im going to eat dinner at home tonight but we will still see a movie. ill call you when i get out of work"

and thats when i said to myself.

well... thats another night alone.

he didnt call when he got out... he didnt call when he got home... he didnt call at all...
he got home around 5:30 (he gets out at 3) and imed me...

him: hey!
me: hi
him: sorry i didnt call
him: my freakin phone is shut off
me: that sucks
him: and i had to go to my reenlistment ceremony today after work
him: i just got home
me: your a busy boy
him: i cant believe i signed up for another 6 years!
me: geeze
him: then the recruiters i know wanted to take me out and buy me beers
him: so i had to go
me: of course
him: im having a weird day
him: im starving
him: and half drunk
him: lol
him: ahhhhhhughhhh
me: what?
him: im just grunting
me: whats up kiddo?
him: you have work tomorrow?
me: no
me: not till saturday
him: would you hate me?
him: i havent had a chance to breathe sice i got out of work
me: no
me: i expected it
me: thats why i didnt even look at what was playing
him: if we definitely went to a movie tomorrow
him: you hate me
him: i swear i didnt plan on this shit
me: i dont hate you
me: i just wish you hadnt promised.

so... here i am again... as usual. i was really looking forward to it but... like i said... i knew not to get my hopes up.