"you are amazing, but you will not succeed in life"

it was a fortune cookie made out of a waffle cone at work that was endeared to me and i thought i would enjoy. i have been contemplating the worth of my life and how i spend the precious time in my early adult years... well, it sucks and i could have never seen myself still working at ben and jerrys after high school, no college in sight and doing the same shit day in and day out. but lets get off this rant cuz all i have to do i get another job... i can fix this one...

soooooooo... i went to maryland with jayson this weekend... we were going to a wedding for his friends michelle and matt... so... it goes a little something like this...

our 9:05pm flight got here at 10:15pm and we got to BWI at 11:30pm... we have no ride, its MIA, so we walk around like lost childern till we finally stop and ask a taxi counter if there is a shuttle to the hotel... the guy tells us to take the "super shuttle" this sounds like it could be kinda fun... NOPE... i cant understand anything the driver is saying but hes laughing up a storm, the kid behind me is from texas and the woman next to him is returning to MD... so we finally arrive at the Silver Spring Courtyard Marriott at about 1am... we walk in and Edward at the front desk swipes the card and hands us the directions the bride and groom had dropped off that day... they read

"directions to St. Judes Shrine be at church at 11:30" and under that on the same page "directions to Thats Amore Restraunt"

so yay... we go in drop our crap off and decide its time to order some food... well, jayson goes to ask Edward about what delivers there... Edward states, "oh, everything around here is closed"...

so, we break down and buy a turkey and bacon sandwitch on a roll with romaine lettuce and cheese, smart food pop corn, mrs fields double chocolate chip cookies a sprite for me and a cranberry juice for jayson... hes a vegetarian but breaks down and eats turkey for some thing substantial... we smother it in mustard and its not actually to bad at all. so we do that, take a bubble bath... ... ...and go to sleep. the alarm goes off at 9 am and i get up, curl my hair, and as im on the last curl i get "KRISS!" from the other room... hes a little upset that its 10:30am and i hadent woken him up yet. so he gets up, i do my face, he gels his hair, and we go to breakfast. somehow an hour passes and we get back to the room at 11:40am... we call the front to get us a cab. we go to the lobby at 12pm and wait, and wait, and wait... Denise at the front desk says "babies, what you still doin here?"

and we explain that the cab hasnt come yet... she calls and tells us that they said they sent someone but no one was out there... we saw a cab while we were waiting... it drove past the hotel... not into the little turn around at the front door, not pull into the parking lot, drove by the entrance... so we continue to wait and wait and we go in and jayson says,"can you call a different company? we've missed the wedding already and i dont want to give them my business"

Denise informs us that Silver Spring only had one cab company... we have no other hope. so we wait till about 1:15 and a Barwood taxi shows up. we get in and i have to calm jayson as were stepping in not to lay into this cabbie... who turns out to be a 58 year old guy from thailand who is here "because he fell in love and it does things to you" so jayson calms down and we are driving by the church and there are still a few stragglers outside. we tell the driver to go straight to the reception at "Thats Amore"

as were pulling up and the meter is reading $38.85 we see there is a Courtyard Marriott RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET!!! so we both get upset wondering why we would have to take another $40 cab ride when we could have just stayed ACROSS THE STREET! so we walk in and ask for the reception. the hostess sends us thru the back of the restraunt and down some stairs. we get down there and its "marthas bridal shower"

so we go back up and we explain were there for the williams-ryan wedding reception... and we are then informed, "we dont have anything like that booked. we dont have room for something like that, we're just a restraunt." so jayson gets angry, crumples up the directions we just used, given to us the night before, to get to a place that no one has any idea of any williams-ryan party. he throws them and starts yelling a little bit, which makes me more nervous and upset than i already am and i start crying, feeling somehow responsible, (thou it is in no way my fault) so i say, im going to have a cigarette. i call my friend steve, the only person i know in balitmore and he just moved there a week before. he jokes and says if you can get us into the party ill give you a ride. so he makes me giggle a bit and i feel a little better. i go in to check on what jaysons doing and he's already behing the hostess stand making phone calls. hes called the church and the hotel trying to get a cell phone or a hint of some kind as to where we shold really be.

anothe woman who works at the restraunt comes and asks whats going on. she recognizes the name of the party and says to give her a minute. she comes back and says that they had a rehersal dinner there the night before... Friday june 20th... its saturday june 21st... Edward gave us directions for the wedding partys rehearsal dinner after it was over and those people were asleep in their beds at our hotel... so the hostess recomends we call the guy (tommy) that worked the party the night before and see if he remembers them saying anything about it... tommy remembers "it started with a W"... thanks tommy... so jayson and the 2 hostess are calling everyplace in the phone book that could hold a wedding party. about an hour and a half goes by, no luck. jayson gives up, frustrated and storms into the bathroom. as soon as he leaves the room we find it... its the "Woodlawn Manor" so he comes out and we tell him in our excited girl voices and he scoffs in disbelief. so we say, alright, time for another $40 cab ride... Amanda, the major player in our "Thats Amore" drama insists that shes going to give us a ride. she wont let us take a cab. so we pile into her little toyota "that just got cleaned for the first time in 4 years"... we talk a bit about our lives outside the wedding drama. shes going to move to north carolina to go to school to be a teacher... jayson is going to school to be a teacher. shes 29 and engaged. shes absolutly beautiful and funny as all get out. jayson seemd to be impressed by her and enthralled... ironic enough the song that comes on the raido is one i like to turn up and sing to... (drops of jupiter by train...) then another that amanda seems to like a lot, shes tapping her hand, clutching a newport and the wheel. we get to the place and she drops us off at the entrance. we ask if we can give her money and she insists we keep it for the next cab ride we need... we tell her we hope we can do something and that she has a lot of karma comming to her she clamly states "thanks, but im still in the red"

so we are walking in and he says, "dont say anything.. i dont want to make her feel bad on her wedding day" they all yell "BADESSA!" he goes right up to the wedding party table and starts telling the whole thing as loud as he can,laughing with hand gestures and all and their all laughing cuz they've been drinking for a while already... so we get some dinner, (the last ones in line) and poor jayson is reduced to eating chicken... so much for the veg diet... we get offered a drink... (its open bar) so i end up in no time trashed and crying at the speaches and the dances (the bride and grooms first dance was "your love is better than chocolate" by sarah mclaughlin) so i continue to make friends, and drink and pee all in that order, and i have to pee again... jayson takes me up to the manor... oh, i forgot to mention, the party is outside of the manor IN THE MUD. it had been flooding in maryland the day before, thats why our flight was late... so in the mud, i get trashed and so does everyone else... were all covered in mud trashed, and laughing. so, jayson takes me to the manor to pee and then tells me he had been off playing with the horses, so he takes me down there and we pet them and make horse noises at them and then we go and rejoin the party.

we get told the dj is leaving and this is the last song... great timing because it started pouring. i mean POURING! but it was fine, we were already muddy but we were under a tent.

so apparently someone slipped the dj a $100 to keep playing. so the cops finally come at 7:30pm... we were supposed to be out at 6... so we get usherd into a car that supposedly going back to the hotel... it doesnt... the owner of the car doesnt even get in... some guy does... we end up at the grooms parents house... im sloshed and watching people eat pulled pork... i had crackers and listened to this couple who is 75 and have been married since they were 15. i was bored out of my skull and just wanted to take a shower. around 11 we got back to our room, showered... and then called 7 dominos pizzas just trying to find ONE to deliver to us. we did and then we go invited to his friends room... we went up, ate and then watched real sex till we fell asleep... get up and check out, get breakfast again at the hotel and then teach ourselves to use the bus and the metro rail... we took a bus to a metero to another metro to a bus to the airport and then home... and here i am... jayson and i seem a bit edgy... i think its just the stress of the weekend carrying over. i hope so. i dont want that to fall apart.

~deep breath~ so, with that said i think im going to head over to the cable car and hang out now that it feels like spring. i think im going to write amanda the angel a thank you and try to think of something sweet to send her... i took a business card so i could. she leaves for north carolina in a month... i wonder if she'll take me with her...

ohhhhh and how could i forget... i was supposed to meet the one the only the bobby burgess while hes back in maryland and was only 20 minutes away, but he never called me. i talked to him today and he said i thought youd get in touch with me. we talked a bit and then he told me i have to go back so i can fool around with him and his girlfriend... and then we decided i would move to cali and become a stripper...

oh the things you can think... hehehehhehe

well, back into the reality of the world, im going to the cable car to get eaten by misquitos...