things have been pretty fucked up and rollercoastery lately... as you know... i got dumped... i got dumped because he was "tired" of putting me second.

i didnt know i was second. he treats me like a princess made of precious gems.

but apparently i was second (in his mind) to coke...

naive me had no idea this was going on...

he was tired of hiding it and he knew if i found out i would flip and leave him so he dumped me before i could dump him... very selfish...

well... after that... he calls and tells me all of those things you might expect (ya know... me being the best girfriend anyone could ever have and everything)

"i fucked up... i want you back... i cant believe i did that... it was the biggest mistake of my life... i love you... i need you... ill do anything to prove its over... ill never touch that shit again..."

and you know what... i believe him...

i honestly do. and hes not just some coke head making empty promises... hes not a coke head at all... he did it every now and then (how often im not sure) and it never messed with his everyday life (but i guess that just means your good at it)

so... i am giving him his second chance... be cause I deserve it. ME.
this is my relationship too and its my choice when we break up... didnt he read the contract before we started dating??? apparently not...

so... thats that... all is well in paridise and i told him if i find out he did it again i get to rip his head off and jam it further up his ass than it already is... but i believe him when he says its over... this is will power boy after all...

so...

aside from the love drama... i have been working like a dog and making no cash... i have to work later and its starting to look pretty gloomy out and im afraid im not going to make any money tonight either...

friday nights on the deck bar should be an EASY $400 if not more... i made no where near that last week. why? it was raining SOMEWHERE in rhode island and people were afraid to go out... or at least near the water... (thou everyone that came in said it was dead all over)

i leave for colorado in 15 days and i couldnt be more excited. i got to talk to W&J last night (a rarity thou we promised it wouldnt be...)

i love talking to them (and im not writing this cause you read =)

just going off on my week and my job and sharing stories and laughing and talking about nothing in particular. getting up to date on whats going on in their lives and blabbing about the mediocreness of my own.

i am the most tan i have been in YEARS. i have been to the beach 4 times (one of which was forefited to lunch and drinking at the beach club because the fog was so thick you couldnt see the red tide all over... its amazing that the weather can be world different a short 45 minute drive away...

so... as you can tell... i have really nothing to say... sticking with the same ol same ol of working, driking and shoothing pool but thats about it... of course now when i leave the bar i go to dannys and not home but... that doesnt change my life TOO drastically...