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2005-06-14����2:27 p.m.
bruises and grapefruits

i like him... i really like him...

i like work... minus the retards... theres a story... well... a few... we'll start with when i got to work... i was setting up my bar and my barback was doing his thing and he looked at my hip (with my low rise jeans that im to big for...)and said "how did you do that?"
i looked down at the 3 inch long bruise... i had no idea how it got there... none what so ever... i have been good with not falling down (its been a week =)

so... i was going about my day... working out on the deck... it was pretty slow for the first few hours but once the sun started its desent people started comming out to enjoy the view and the outside in general without fear of a severe skin cancer causing burn...

so... every time i crash my butt into the rows of bottles on a thin metal shelf behind me i wanna die... my left ass cheek and hip are killing me... not to mention the charlie horse that seemed to make some sort of lasting injury in my right calf... i knew where the charlie horse came from... but not why my bum hurt so bad... until... i realized that the 3 inch long 1 inch wide bruise resembled a finger... and when i went pee i checked for the other 4 fingers... and viola... there they were... about 9 times... bruises and broken blood vessles every where... oops... along with the charlie horse... i chalk all of my injuries up to a great night (and morning) of rough wonderful sex... =D

so as i got busier the window of nicotine was getting smaller and the grade of people were getting worse... this guy came up and is trying to shout an order to me while i am making 3 seporate customers orders and an order of chocolate martinis for my waitress... (i would like to kill anyone who orders a martini or cosmo when im busy. your fucking stupid) so he's bitching and yelling and trying to get my attention and i keep telling him one sec he's next and ill be with him... "holy shit ive been here forever! (apparently forver is 2 minutes) what the fuck am i ever gonna be able to get a fuckin drink around here" (all in goomba accent of course... whop bastard)

mean while i am opening no less that 15 beers and making 8 mixed drinks and those fucking martinis. so i get to the guy and he says "gimme two of those and a bud" two of what fuck head? "2 shots of patron. i want the good stuff (to friend) we're going top shelf tonite"

"silver or gold patron?"

"wha?"

"SILVER OR GOLD TEQUILA?"

"i ditnt no deer was a difrence"

"SILVER OR GOLD"

"i dun care"

so i get the shots and as im pouring i said "and a bud right"

and fuck tard is talking to his friends.

"youve been standing here bitching and whining about how you werent getting served and now your ignoring me. do you need a bud or what?"

"yeh."

"anything else tell me now"

"nah"

his friend jumps in and says "2 miller lites"

"anything else?"

"anything else..."

"ANYTHING ELSE???????!!!!"

fine. i dont fucking care... their all standing around talking. i ring up the bud, 2 miller lites and 2 shots and it comes to $25.00

after yelling at goomba man for 5 minutes that it was 25.00 he asks why its so expensive for a beer and 2 shots...

"its 3 beers and 2 top shelf shots. you ordered big you pay big. now give me your money ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT BITCH THAT YOU WAIT SO LONG THEN YOU MAKE OTHER PEOPLE WAIT LONGER BECAUSE YOU HAD TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT BUT YOU DIDNT AND THEN YOU IGNORE ME. YOUR THE KIND OF PEOPLE I HATE"

so... needless to say he didnt listen to a word i said because one of his pizans was talking about some "hot bitch" so i whip the 40.00 out of his hand and tell him to choke on it as i throw his change on the bar... next customer... a vodka grapefruit. he knew what he wanted... i was greatful. i pick up the jug of grapefruit and swirl it so that its not all pulp... the top and bottom decide they longer want to be together and they split up right there... and now... i am covered... from waist to ankle... in grapfruit juice... i hate grapefruit... i hate fruit... i hate being we when i am already sweating my ass off... so now im sticky... i smell like citrus... and i want to kill someone... i walked out of the bar and lit a cigarette... and i didnt care... and i dont... but i made a few bucks... and got a little to drink... and i dont have to work today... thank fucking goodness...

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