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2005-02-24����3:39 p.m.
random crap of the day

sigh-
i can breathe again... sort of...
i can breathe but its usually followed by 5 minutes of lung ripping coughing.
i havent had a cigarette since tuesday at work and i think i only had 2 or 3 that day which is great for me because i usually have 15 on a slow day at work... and man was it SLOW!

i had maybe 6 on monday (which is a lot for someone trying to quit but nothing for me) and 10 on sunday...

sun+mon+tue= a packish...
as oppsed to a pack a day... and dont forget... i went wednesday and today without any... im so proud of myself... and i think the DTs wore off because im not a raging bitch...

im supposed to be going out with boots tonight to do something (cause hes making an effort to see my finally) and i dont think it will be a problem to not drink... its a lot easier than i would have imagined... i think i just have more will power than i give myself credit for.


accept when it comes to photographs...
on the photo front i am a total utter and complete whore. my flickr site has almost 500 pictures on it now and most of them are of moi. i was even in such a hammy mood this morning that i took pictures of myself fresh out of the shower andputting my face on until done...
pathetic... i just love taking pictures...

i dont know if i mentioned that i left my camera at lilis the other night... i wasnt drinking or anything! it was an accident and was hidden on the floor in the dark but man... what a retard...

i freaked out when i saw i didnt have it and then the whole day i was so greif stricken that i couldnt take pictures of stupid things... but i made it and the stupid pictures are running wild.

were expecting 5-9 inches of snow tonight in to tomorrow and i am really not looking forward to it...
boots and i have resorted to having to get a hotel room so our hormones dont overrun our bodies and kill us... shady... i know... but its the only way... =)

i cant wait until i get an apartment.
i have a great thing set up with a friend that owns a giant house in a great part of town and she is supposed to be telling her current tenant that he has until the end of may to find a new place... then i get to move in... but i realized this morning that it will be blatant that i am the reason he had to leave because when he drives by it will be my car in the lot.

i sort of dated the guy she'll be kicking out so i sort of feel bad (but not that bad) considering he is letting 2 other people live with him and they all do hard drugs and there is no way in hell that they dont do it in the apartment.

my friend who owns the house lives there with her 4 year old and i dont think its cool to do that shit in the first place let alone with a small child in the house. not that the baby EVER goes to the attic apartment but still... grow a little respect... and a brain while your at it...

so i hope that all works out and i get to take the apartment... i love it.
im just nervous what he'll do when he sees my car in the drive. then again... i dont care...

i had the weirdest dream last night...
i keep having these dreams that im pregnant and they are the most vivid dreams ever. i drove to burlington mass to show my ex but he was at a restraunt when i showed up and i had to wait in the foyer to be seated and as i was standing there waiting i ran into some old friends and they were so excited to see that i was having a baby (i was awaiting labor thru the whole dream) and we were talking and looking at magazines (because now it was a doctorish waiting room) and we were commenting on how much it sucked that "tinkah" (a porn star) broke the sex pistols up last week. (i have no idea where this shit came from)
i finally got seated and we were in a haunted house but it was a restraunt and i kept seeing all these people i knew but hadnt seen in years and someone walked up and told me i wasnt pregnant... that i was just fat... and i got so mad... then i realized that at full term i still had never felt my baby kick... then i sat down and thought that i was just fat...
we all got kicked out of the restraunt and i was so upset that i wasnt going to have a baby.

i hate waking up sad... but im fine now. i had to take my mom to the market and we god burger king which i have been CRAVING so bad and i ate it as thou i hadnt eaten in days... it was fabulous...

ramble ramble ramble...

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