i went to the club early so i could meet up with my friend joe as i do every monday. we go across the street to another bar that has pool tables and we play for about 2 hours then we corss the street to the club at 7 so i can work... well... we usually neet around 5... not strictly... but around... and today joe called to say he would be a little behind.

i went over to talk to one of the girls i work with and there was mention of "the sciottis"...

(background:
the sciottis=
sam- oldest brother. i met him my freshman year of highschool. we had ARC class together. he is one of the most fun high energy loving caring badass people i know.

matt- middle brother. i was in love with this boy and we were together 3 years to the day... if i could turn time back and change anything... it would be letting this one go... i cant say enough good things about him...

dan-youngest brother. sweeter than sweet. super smart caring young man who teaches children how to read. quiet and laid back but always witty and happy.

ive known these brothers almost 10 years now and i wish i got to spend time with them more regularly.)

as i was talking to my coworker their names were brought up... i had heard that they flipped their car 3 times when they hit the blizzard on the way home from a florida vacation. flipping your car is a serious matter... all i had heard was that matt and dan were ok... scrapes cuts and bruises but ok... i heard sam was not so fortunate and sustained a lot more damage and was in the hospital that i can see from work...

well... today... i found out... not only is he more hurt than the boys... but he is missing the left side of his face. the car flipped 3 times and sam was 1/2 out of the drivers side window when the car stopped flipping and slid on its side... apparently with sam under it...

there are no muscles in his face and his bone is even worn away... the upper half of his body is ripped up too...

i had no idea the extent of this. the gilr told me that he is out of the hospital and staying at his parents down the street from my house.

im not sure what to do now. this kid has so many friends and i cant imagine the phone ever being quiet for more than 10 minutes with news of this getting to everyone. i really want to call and try to go see him but if i know sam... the strong one... the nothing bothers me one... the energetic crazy out going one... he wont want me to see him like this... and as much as i dont want to see it... i cant imagine him weak... i want to see him and let him know that i will do anything i can to support him in whatever comes next.

i dont know how i would feel in his situation... i really think im going to call on wednesday in the after noon and see if i can go visit. i wish i could go tomorrow but i have to work all day...

i cant imagine it... this beautiful smiling boy not even resembling himself. not resembling a human. not being the sam ive seen for the last ten years...
on the outside anyway...
but if i know this boy... he wont let this stop him... no way... hes to strong to just give up... and i take comfort in knowing that no matter what... he'll never give up for 5 minutes... he cant... and if he tried... his brothers wouldnt take it...

i just cant help but think that if november 11th 2000 was different... that this would have never happend... and there is nothing and no one in the world that can change my mind...
not in a million years...