the word NOTHING
has a true meaning.

if you own any clothing at all the sentence
"i have nothing to wear" is false.
if there is anything made to be eaten in the house you are in
"there is nothing to eat" is also an untrue statement...

when i say there is nothing to eat i mean... nothing of substance.
i have already had 2 servings of ramen noodles today and a lipton cup of soup.
i have had 4 pints of water and thats it.

my mom wants to help.
she really does.
the last thing i want for solid food after not having anything more solid than a hershey kiss is frozen food.

i offer to pay if we order out for food. there is a great place up the street, a pizza joint with subs and burgers and dinners.

is that tough?

you pick what you want. i pay. we get it to come to us. you eat what you want. easy.

nope... a production... which has let to me writing this.
there is a minumum on what you order and have delivered. im sure i could muster up enough for them to deliver. i could get a pizza and a salad and a burger and i could really go for a coke too.

but then everyone would drool over me "that salad looks good...."
why did you get pineapples on the pizza... i would eat some but theres fruit on it"

well... stuff it...
so i think im going to try to muster the strength to go out...

i guess its not so much the going out i really dread... living in rhode island, everything you need is 5 minutes away... the problem is that no matter how shitty i feel i cannot under any circumstances leave the house and not feel like i did my best to look attractive.

i just dont feel like putting forth that effort.
the same effort i would have to half ass if i had to answer the door for a delivery person.

like i mentioned before i have a sweet friend (not the random phone guy) that keeps offering me anything i need. well... 2 of them now but its not like im on the way for either of them. they live a stones throw from one another and im way out in left field.

and i am really craving muffins. even if i got one of them to go to the store for me... i would have so many requests that they would back out... so i have to go myself. but what i really want is a greek salad and a mushroom cheese burger...