but im back into my old routine... but... i think im going to modify it...
i think i embarassed myself so much in texas with a party thrown for me that i spent my time vomiting and being passed out for that i dont want to drink anymore...
i bought a carton of cigarettes before i went down there (i smoke cloves and they are tough to find) and i brought 6 packs with me... i didnt go thru one the whole time i was there...
since i have been home i havent wanted to smoke hardly at all...
i wont lie... there is to much habit wrapped up in it that i still have been, but no where near the pack a day (or more) that i was at before i left.

and i dont think i can touch vodka and pineapple anymore... i tried to have on the other night and just the tast of it brought me back to hugging nathans toilet...

i went out last night and had 2 cosmos on the rocks because i dont particularly like cosmos so i wouldnt slug them down and end up shit housed... i took it easy and i was wonderfully sober when it came time to drive. (another stupid ass thing i have to stop doing: driving while intoxicated)

so... i think this is it... i had been talking not to long ago about the new krissie... well here she comes...
she...

1)moved into the digital age and got a digi camera...

2)is getting a new computer all for herself

3)is still working on getting that new bed so she can sleep like a new person

4)is working on her phobias so shes not afraid like a twit of trucks and bugs anymore...

5)is working on her quirks so she can
a)let water hit her face and not feel like she is drownding
b)not reling on tights as second skin because she is creeped out by her own
c)trying not to be dependant on makeup. its sad really...

6)is cutting long hair to try to do something that might feel good... thou different...

7)is dressing like she cares about herself so people know she owns more than 2 pairs of jeans and 16 of the same size black t- shirts.

8)is going out and doing different things instead of doing the same thing every night because it's "comfortable"

9)is not letting herself be taken advantage of and jerked around... she desirves better and wants to she people that she is worth more.

10)is going to stop talking in the 3rd person because there is something a little mental about it...

i really dont feel like going to work tonight. i just dont want to officially end this vacation yet... even thou i have been home since tuesday night... i havent had to work and i dont want to start now.