ok, so ive already done 2 entries today, maybe im making up for all my silence. its 10:46 am, and it feels like it should be 4pm. i went to take a nap last night around 9:15 and i knew i wasnt going to nap. i knew that i would sleep until the morning. my cat was in my room. i was just going to sleep for 45 minutes.
i set my alarm on my cell phone, and plopped down. i tossed and turned. the phone rang, i ignored it.
it rang again. i was almost asleep. i thought it was the alarm and i hit the button for snooze but i actually answered it i guess... it wasnt the alarm.
i just laid down for a nap.
i was going to see daughters at the pink rabbit. i told a bunch of people to go. i couldnt sleep. but i couldnt get up with out taking a nap.
the phone rang again. i didnt look to see who it was. i thought it was erica. we were going to the pink rabbit after my nap. it was jayson. he got out of work early but i was to tired to go to a birthday party for someone i didnt know. he said "what are you doing?"
"trying to take a nap but i cant get to sleep"
"what are you doing after your nap?"
"i dunno, i have been laying down for over an hour but i cant get to sleep"
"you can sleep here, i have air conditioning."
"but i cant get up, i havent taken a nap yet"
"oh, ok. you go to sleep."
"but im supposed to go to the pink rabbit"
"are you going?"
"i dunno. i need to take a nap but i cant sleep."
"ok, well, you can come to the party if you want but your all whiny and sleepy. you go to sleep, maybe ill see you tomorrow, depending on when i wake up"
"ohhhhh, ok"
it was just going to be a nap. i told myself id get up when the buzzer on the dryer went off. but i wasnt in bed yet. i told myself, 45 minutes. but i coulndt sleep and everyone kept calling me. i finally got to sleep after i heard jaysons voice, and i woke up at 8am, to my cat, still in my room, garbage cans knocked over from her eating the handles of the plastic bags filling them. i woke up to the cat, who isnt normally allowed in my room, walking on my pillow, walking on my hair and pulling it, laying against my body which was sweating because i woke up at 3am and put the blankets on.
but i cant figure out why my alarm didnt go off, and if it did, when did i shut it off?
why couldnt i sleep?
and why do my naps always last more than 6 hours?
im awake now. and thrown off. i want to go to the beach. i want to get more of a tan. i want to see jayson. i want to figure out the best plan. i want to do so much. im so inspired. perhaps that why i keep writing. im inspired. but to fuckin lazy to get my ass out of this chair.
