i was upset that he jumped out of bed in the breathy air to do laundry...

and again this morning cuz "that inspired me to do homework"

i was upset because this is when we are so close... so warm... this is snuggle afterward time... not what chore can i find to get out of bed time...

i was upset "but you cant be upset because i want to get good grades..."

but i was

i was upset and i med you lay down while i cried on your chest and shook my head no everytime you asked what was wrong

i was upset and i finally mustered up the words as i could feel you falling into sleep...

i whispered them and your name came out a little bit louder than the rest...

this woke you with a loud "HUH?" to follow...

i dropped a few more tears and told you i CARED for you... and you dont seem to care for me... i told you i let myself fall for you... i told you i didnt want to be biding your time till something better came along...

you lay silent...

probably hoping to fall asleep so you wouldnt have to talk to me...

i said... "well? yes? no? what?"

"you dont want me to answer..."

and i was baffled... but you were caressing the small of my back... the slope between my ribs and my hip... and i thought... but that means you care, when you do that... you care. so i dont want you to answer but you seem like you care?

YOU dont want to answer... its not that you think i dont want you to... your scared... YOU dont want to answer.

we get on with the day... we go on. my feeling hurt but a little stronger...

we go on

you work on your project. i get dressed and do my makeup. i get all my things together like i do everyday at your house. in your room. on your bed. somehow we end up falling asleep again.

i wake up. arm heavy with pain and sleep from you laying with all your sleepy weight on it. we wake up and i talk about my migraine that i have had for 4 days... their starting again... i say im hungry and ask you if you want to go see dare devil cuz you mentioned it yesterday. you say no. get out.

and you mean it

you mean get out

we just woke up

i can barely see

thru the sleep still in my eyes

we just woke up and you were all kisses

we just woke up and the first thing you say is

get out.

and i am soo hurt

but i am smarter than to let you see

and i take my stuff

ALL of my stuff

and i put it in bags

you say

you dont have to take all that with you

leave what you want to here

i say

i got it

dont worry about me

you sit with me on the bed and say

i care about you a lot

dont think i dont

im just not used to this

i have seen you for the past two hundred and forty hours...

i say... i ask you all the time if you want a night off...

you- i know i know

but im used to seeing a girl 2 times a month... i am a very independant person, and that makes other people feel like i dont need them... andidont...dontgetmewrong...

but it doesnt mean that i dont want you

me- well, im glad you answered...

now move so i can get out

and you followed me to the door... and i had tears in my eyes this whole time

but the hallway was dark and you wouldnt have aknowleged them anyway... and you didnt wait to watch me walk around the corner down the steps and make puppy dog faces at me... you shut the door immediatly... and i didnt look back...