2003-01-07����6:52 p.m. mail me about this... please please please...
ok, so i am a fuck up... i have been wanting to talk to my ex of 3 years (ex for 2----togehter for 3) and i have seen him walk by me at work and watched him try to ignore me... well, watched him succeed at ignoring me... well, i havent seen him online in years.. literally... well, he was just on... i didnt want to im him... i dunno why... i have been trying to get a chance to talk to him for so long.. but i sent him an e-mail... i sent it and then i thought... what if its his girlfriend on his name? so that lead me to think.. did i sign the mail? and i had, but aol has this lovely unsend feature and so i did... and then i copied it, took my name out and resent it... then just as i went to my list i could see he had just signed off... now i wonder... did he get the mail just before i successfully unsent it? is that why he signed off? im so crazy... i wish he had gotten it... but maybe he did... well, tell me what you would do if i cheated on you cuz you wouldnt talk to me or return my phone calls for 2 weeks... i met some completely drop dead georgus bmx rider who was in my city for a competition to win thousands and thousands of dollars... (not that money matters, just trying to get the point across that hes FAMOUS!) and i slept with him... hung out with him for a few days , then he flew back to minnesota... (i live in rhode island thousands of miles away) and i failed to tell you about it when we started talking again in august... (this was in july) and then when i was on some hallucinogens, i told my best friend while i was at the beach with you but you were off doing some husky sexy guy thing... and then in november, she told someone who told someone who told you... you confronted me, i told you thr truth, we broke up... we talked again in febuary via email and then we hung out in april, we went out for dinner, (i bought dinner and filled up your empty gas tank) and we went back to your house and you showed me pictures of your trip to cancun in march where you got so deliciously tan and met some girls (which half of the picutres, you were all over each other) i laughed it off, hiding my jealousy, you layed down next to me and touched the small of my back where my tattoo is and said "its still there" then we sat and watched tv... in your bed... in what was our bed... and we hung out... close but not to close... and then you took me home... we hugged in the car, you smiled like you used to and we said how much fun we had... that we wanted to hang out again soon... we were both "loking forward to it" and then next time i see you , i call your name and you shoot me the most evil look. we hadnt even talked between then and the last time so i had no way to piss you off again but you hate me and havent talked to me since... what would you do if i sent you this...
i dunno what this could mean... maybe nothing... but im online and i dont want to bother you but you are too... if you can bring yourself down to my level id like a chance to talk with you... even thou i dont know what to say...
what would you say to me? what would you do? please for the love of pete... let me know...
