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2002-10-27����1:47 p.m.
have you, or have you ever....

ok , one more thing... yesterday during the hunt for halloween shoes at the emerald square mall i was approached. well, lemme start at the begining. wednesday i was at work in my little kahki skirt and bleach stained black ben and jerrys t-shirt and a maroon and with knit cap looking like shit and this woman comes up to ask me if i have ever done any modeling and/or was i interested in it. i said "nope, im ugly and its way to expensive" she replied with "well, in sorry you feel that way but we have a free consultation tommorrow at 6:45 right downtown. its invitation only so i really think you should come. dress to impress... no jeans and t-shirts." and she walked away. i stuck the card in my wallet. so... yesterday AND and i were walkign leisurely thru the mall and this woman in a hideous coat stops us. she says "how tall are you without your boots on?" (i wear a pair of 4" platform boots, not for the platform, for the 5 buckles!) and i said..."like 5'1" she says "have you ever done or are you interested in doing modeling?" and i said, "ya know... this is the second time i have been asked this week... so... maybe." "did you take the card?" "yes" "do you still have it" "yes" "you should really come down" and i said , thank you. shly, embarassed and perplexed.

AND and i were on our way outside for a cigarette. when we got out there he had this smile on his face. i asked "whatcha thinkin?" "my girlfriend just got asked to be a model. thats so flattering. i wonder why youd want to be with me. im just sorry you'll never get to hear me get asked that" "your insaine. i think your beautiful. i love your curls. i dun care if anyone else thinks your beautiful at all. screw them. what difference do they make?" then he asked if i had been asked before at all. i said "uh. like 3 days ago." "no, before that." "yeah, but not for a while. why?" "im starting to wonder, if its because you have lost so much weight. your so tiny, they go for a certain body type."

that made me think. i was weary as to whether they actually thought i was ok to look at or if they needed to fill a quota. now i wonder if it is because i weigh less than 100 lbs. i dunno how to take that. i think weighing so little is disturbing. so i dunno. what do you think???

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