2002-09-25����8:46 p.m please read me and respond.. please
so... i seem to be really good at running things by the few people that read this but... i wanna know something, like really know for real what you guys think one way or the other ... so, i constantly am at the cable car ... all the time ... and i like to go sit and write there. when i am depressed, when i am ok, when i wanna be alone... i go there ... sometimes i will take people there, its a good place to talk ... but now ... my problem... heidi goes there without me ... and she calls and invites me to MY safe place. my place to get away from people, to sit with strangers, and think and write, not talk, not be annoyed by a 24 yr. old that thinks hes eternally 14 not to meet stupid girls from her work. and she has called me 4 times already going where are you? come to cable car. come on down. she called earlier and said she was going... and she was like, "do you wanna come? " and i said, "i was thinking of going alone to write." and she was like, "well, do you want me to pick you up now?" WHAT!!!!!!! how do you do something like that? i told her, "i wanted to go alone to write" and she calls me 3 more times to tell me shes there... AND is there... grrrrrrrrr can i be upset about this? im glad she enjoys it so much, but i guess i like it if its on my terms in some weird way... i went the other night with 2 friends and she was there with 3 other people, we sat at tables next to each other but for the most part we were in our own conversations ... it was weird thou...i wanna go to write... i have had a weird day and this makes it worse and the one place i wanna go to write about it i cant cuz that is the problem!!!!!!!!!!!!! is it wrong that i am upset about it? what would you do? why am i in such a selfish stage??? why does she have to dump on my plans? this was the only thing i had to look forward to this week. and she called to ask if i could pick someone else up on the way down there.... thats balls dude ... big hairy balls...
